Impressive leaders choose their words deliberately: sometimes this means few words, other times many. One thing is certain: leaders who demand our attention rarely ramble aimlessly. And if they do, they are probably seen as leaders despite it, not because of it.
In my “Executive Presence” series I have been tackling the “inner keys” for presence—the mindsets and motivations which are essential if we want to make a compelling impression as a leader, and do so in a way that is authentic to each of us. Finding our own unique, powerful voice, our “best self,” starts on the inside. I already wrote about Conviction and Confidence and will tackle Connection (the fourth and last inner key) in a future article. Today I would like to talk to you about the power of words: specifically, being deliberate about choosing the right words for the right time.
What does it look like, when someone chooses their words deliberately?
1. They have a point of view, with minimal caveats. Having a point of view is so fundamental to what makes a leader that I almost named my website “Leadership Point of View.” To follow a leader, in action or thought, we first need to know what they stand for. This is why it is important to be assertive on things that matter to you, even though assertiveness might not be your comfort zone. In practice, this means sharing your opinion, recommendation, or decision without “hedging” as Art Markman puts it in this Fast Company article: “Hedging phrases and expressions like “sort of,” “kind of,” or “technically,” can water down what you’re trying to say—and make you sound less confident than you need to be.”
Having a point of view without caveats is hard because it is risky. It means assuming responsibility. I see this in my work with consultants and lawyers: understandably, the more junior they are, the more they struggle with making a recommendation or taking a stance. I am not advocating they should. On the contrary, what I am saying is that expressing a clear point of view is such a marker of executive presence precisely because it takes experience and knowledge.
The danger comes when you are caveating unnecessarily.
- Are you using imprecise language such as “maybe” or “a little bit of” when there’s no real reason for it?
- Are you hiding under the umbrella of “we think” or “we did” when in fact the opinion or contribution is entirely yours and it should be “I think” or “I did”? This is a trap that I realized I was frequently falling in, by the way, from a misguided desire to appear collaborative. I have learned that, while it is indeed essential to give credit when credit is due, it is equally essential to have the courage to stand up on my own and claim an idea.
- Are you over-explaining a question by following it with examples or reasons when in fact, it would be most powerful if you stopped after the first sentence and let it hang in the room?
Owning your point of view, clearly and unequivocally, even when well warranted, requires courage. And that’s exactly why it is so powerful.
Owning your point of view, clearly and unequivocally, requires courage. And that’s exactly why it is so powerful.
2. Choosing your words deliberately also means speaking to the point. This doesn’t automatically mean being concise. It does mean knowing when to be concise—there are times, indeed, when it is important to “Be brief, be brilliant, and be gone!” as a colleague of mine likes to say—and when it is ok to take up airtime: to share a powerful personal story, or to add a detail of value to the conversation.
To be on point you also need to be deliberate about the structure of what you are saying. Business communication often requires people to be “top down:” start with the take-away, what your audience is most interested in hearing (e.g. your recommendation for action), and then follow it with the supporting arguments (e.g. analyses that got you there). It is a technique meant to save time for executive audiences and not “bury the lead:” once they know the main point, they can use the time to actively engage with you around it, rather than passively listen to you get there. Being top down is not always appropriate, of course: imagine being top-down in storytelling. Revealing the ending would spoil all the effect!
And that brings me to the main strategies I know for choosing your words wisely, and those are: Prepare and Practice. I know these are not always feasible (you cannot prepare when you are put on the spot!) but they are more feasible than we often make time for. I am not just talking about preparing our notes for a meeting in which we will present. I am talking about role-playing conversations that make us nervous with a mentor or colleague; preparing questions for a meeting in which we want to make a good impression, even if we are not the main presenter; and rehearsing key presentations in front of the mirror or videotaping us on the phone and watching it back. Yes, this all takes time, and we cannot do it for every interaction. But you know what takes more time? Having our idea disregarded because the presentation of the idea was not compelling enough.
