Tina is an excellent lawyer: smart, technically competent, and empathetic; clients love working with her. However, her tendency to put herself in the shoes of her juniors also means that she avoids providing tough feedback to them because it makes them feel uncomfortable.
John is great at developing deep, strong relationships. He has cultivated a circle of people at work who are close to him—these are honest, authentic, and trust-based connections. To his surprise, others started referring to him as “clique-y” and playing favorites.
Maria will naturally take ownership: she is responsible and trustworthy. The problem is that she takes responsibility for everything. She has taken on too much and is now overwhelmed and bitter that others are not “stepping up.”
I could go on and on… the high achiever who sees everything as competition, and as a result is burnt out. The calm leader whose emotionless style has been lauded as a steady hand, but who cannot inspire people in times of change.
These are all examples of “strengths gone wild,” when your talent starts working against you.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a big believer in leading with your strengths. You will likely thrive in your profession because of your talents—those things you do innately, and which come to you effortlessly—not despite of them. In all my (real) examples above, these people are at the top of their professions, and in no small part because of their empathy, ability to build relationships, and reliability, respectively.
Research by Gallup shows that when people use their strengths daily they are more productive, engaged, fulfilled, and so on, and their companies benefit as a result. We all carry around a set of inclinations and experiences which make us distinctive, and, quite frankly, precious (in a “unique selling proposition” kind of way).
For all these reasons, I think we should know our strengths and talents and find a way to use them in our work. But today I wanted to write about those times when our strengths can lead us astray.
Because they come effortlessly to us, it’s likely that we will fall back on using our strengths without even thinking, just like in the examples above. And, as with anything, there are limitations to the kind of situations where our strengths are a best fit.
If you might have a strength that is “out of control,” what can you do about it?
1.
An essential first step is just becoming aware of your strengths, talents, and propensities. You can do that through assessments (I highly recommend the Gallup StrengthsFinder), working with a coach, or asking your colleagues, friends, and family. Or simply through self-reflection:
- What comes naturally and effortlessly to you?
- When do you tend to be “in the flow” (not feeling that time flies by while you work)?
- What are 2-3 words others would use to describe you?
2.
Secondly, think about: how do you sometimes use your strength in ways that do not work in your favor? Perhaps it has an unintended consequence—for instance, your perfectionism could make you reluctant to delegate a task, when you should; or you overuse your strength—if you spend too much time getting organized when you also need to spend time being strategic.
3.
If you’ve discovered a pattern of behavior where your strength is working against you, here are some things to consider:
- Think about what small adjustments you might want to make. Upon reflection, John (my previous example) decided to make a more deliberate effort to connect with people who were not part of his close circle.
- Seek advice that will challenge your thinking. Tina started having regular conversations with a trusted mentor who sees performance management very differently; she is now running some of her situations by her to get grounding in a different perspective.
- Work with people with a complementary strength. Rather than spend a considerable amount of effort to try (and fail) to stay organized, another client of mine hired a team member for whom organization comes naturally. This allows him to focus on strategy and ideas, where he thrives.
- Go back to your goals. It helps to be crystal clear on what you are trying to achieve, and it is worth putting in the effort to do this exploration. Saying “yes” to responsibilities came naturally to Maria, my client from above; she had to clarify what she wanted first, so that she could feel empowered to start saying no.
- – Most importantly, celebrate your strength, instead of giving yourself a hard time about it. Your strengths have gotten you to where you are now. It helps to put this into perspective rather than think “I thought I was good at this, and actually, here is one more thing I am doing poorly!” This is not the point. The point is getting a nuanced view of who you are (I’ll tackle black/white thinking in a future article).
Hope I’ve given you some food for thought and impetus for action. Until next,
