A client told me yesterday she was so distracted that she could barely focus on work. A leader I know almost fired one of his best employees this week over a small transgression. My dental hygienist started crying when I thanked her at the end of our appointment (one of her last before her practice closed for the foreseeable future).
These are extra-ordinary times. This is not business as usual, but just working from home (although that’s already a significant change). Let’s not underestimate how the Covid-19 threat is messing with our thoughts and actions.
Let’s start there: self-awareness. For some of us, sadly, this virus can be life threatening. But even if we or our loved ones are in no present danger, this crisis is likely triggering a similar reaction. Our brains are overwhelmed by feeling 24/7 like we are in imminent danger.
In 2008 David Rock published a paper, rooted in neuroscience research, in which he talks about five “domains” that activate threat and reward responses in our brain. They are:
- Status – our relative importance to others.
- Certainty – our ability to predict the future.
- Autonomy – our sense of control over events.
- Relatedness – how safe we feel with others.
- Fairness – how fair we perceive the exchanges between people to be.
I sometimes use the SCARF model to explain to my clients how deeply threatened we can feel by seemingly mundane situations, such as receiving negative feedback or being left out of an activity. Our brain processes the situation as a danger: the same parts of the brain are activated as physical pain. It’s an instinctive impulse that can take over even the most self-aware of us.
If receiving bad feedback can make us feel threatened in this way, imagine the current situation.
In the face of a threat, our brain releases cortisol (the “stress” hormone). Cortisol has an essential role: it prepares us for “fight” or “flight.” But it also decreases creativity. Too much cortisol can leave us feeling overwhelmed, unfocused, and unproductive. Our bodies are not designed to be ready for “fight” or “flight” 24/7; alas this is the situation we find ourselves in right now, especially if we constantly check the news or social media.
All of this is to say: what you might be feeling right now—unfocused, irritable (even angry without apparent reason), sad, scared—is normal. And it might have some unintended consequences.
When we feel triggered and our rational brain gets highjacked by these primitive survival mechanisms, we will react instinctively—like the people who are hoarding food, but also like my client who is sending dozens of unnecessary emails to her teammates just to feel like she is doing *something*, or the leader I mentioned who let anger get the best of him.
We need to do more responding: deliberately and strategically. That is, allow our actions in the face of this crisis—and any crisis!—to be rational, creative, collaborative, and productive. How can we do that?
- By putting some intentional “space” in between us and the problem. I absolutely do not mean ignoring or not caring about the issue at hand. But we need to allow our level of cortisol to go down so that we can bring our best thinking to the table. That means things like: taking a break; practicing meditation; and limiting our exposure to the media (30min a day, suggests this article).
- Ground ourselves into our bodies. When the mental and emotional are getting out of hand, getting rooted in our bodies helps. Breathe. Exercise. If you can, take a walk mindfully, observing the nature around us. It may seem trite to take time to exercise or walk when it feels like the world is burning down. But that’s exactly when we need it most.
- Connect with people. The SCARF model works both ways: when these dimensions are threatened, we feel in danger; but when they are rewarded, our brain releases dopamine (the “happy” hormone). To activate Relatedness, connect with people more intentionally and more often. Social distancing is not isolation; it’s physical distancing + social (virtual) support.
- Establish new routines. We need certainty and control over our lives. One of my clients has decided to replace her routine of going to work with a habit of going for a walk whenever she has an all-hands meeting to listen to. Little habits like this can anchor us at a time when the world feels topsy-turvy.
Ultimately, somehow, we will get through this crisis. It’s what we do. Human beings are incredibly adaptive. In the meantime: breathe and connect with someone.
