Having had dozens of coaching conversations during the Coronavirus crisis, one thing is for certain: many people are burning out. The uncertainty of the future, the blurring of boundaries between “work” and “life” that comes with working from home, the homeschooling on top of working full time: there are many added stressors right now, and some of the habitual opportunities for rest are not available (when will we be able to take our next real vacation??).
Recovery is always important, not just during this crisis. Covid-19 just exacerbates the issue.
But even outside this crisis, being a top leader in today’s corporate environment is akin to being an elite athlete in the level of energy, focus, and even physical commitment that is required.
The secret of elite athletes? They alternate periods of high-intensity peak performance with periods of rest and recovery.
Therefore, it becomes even more frustrating when you do want to make the most of your recovery time and you are trying to go to sleep, but your brain has other plans.
This happens especially when we are generally under stress during the day—perhaps with a project where the stakes are high, or the delivery time is tight. Under stress, our brain is programmed to constantly search the environment for “dangers,” and the calm, quiet time right before bed, with fewer distractions than during the day, is the perfect time for these concerns to surface.
So what do we do about it? Here’s some ideas:
1. “Download” your brain. Often our brains are caught in a loop, going over and over the “to do”s or the worries. It is this never-ending rumination that stops us from falling asleep; it is as if the brain does not want us to forget something important.
Try keeping a pad of paper next to your bed and write down the actions or the worries that come to your brain at night. Then schedule a time, the following day, to deal with them. This basically “gives permission” to our brain to let go.
2. Have a nighttime ritual. In their book “Centered Leadership,” Joanna Barsh and Johanne Lavoie strongly recommend building a ritual into our schedule, right before bed, to help us prepare for a good night sleep.
Joanna and Johanne are both directors at famed consulting firm McKinsey, and their centered leadership program has become a cornerstone of McKinsey’s leadership development approach. A fundamental principle of centered leadership is renewal: managing one’s energy long-term.
Their nighttime ritual is simple. Choose one of these three options and ask:
- What three good things happened to you today—and one not-so-good thing? (Note: not the best things, but good).
- What three new things are you grateful for today?
- What is one new thing you appreciate about yourself today?
The ritual can be done with a family member, or on your own, recording the answers in a journal.
3. Practice mindfulness. For those of us who have never tried it before, mindfulness and meditation can seem like the crossroads between unfamiliar, difficult, and woo-woo-land.
But at its basics, mindfulness is simply a technique to focus on the present, the real, and the concrete, while acknowledging our fleeting thoughts as just that: clouds that pass in the sky. Focusing on our body and/or our breath is a wonderful way to anchor in the present and the concrete, and a lot of meditation guidance that you may try (for instance through apps like Headspace or Calm) will do just that.
While seemingly simple, there is tremendous power in this practice of re-centering. Mindfulness helps us increase our inner space, so that we are more able to respond, rather than react, to everyday interactions. And research has now clearly proven its restorative benefits.
And when all else fails, perhaps just stop fighting your brain, give up on sleeping right in that moment, and read a book?
