I was recently doing an interview-based 360 for a leader who is looking to get promoted and the feedback he got was “I don’t get the feeling he really wants this.”
And it’s a very valid question. Do you want this*?
*[where “this” means promotion x, or job y, or move to country z.]
This becomes particularly important for senior leaders. For the longest time, schools and organizations are paths where a leads to b leads to c. And if you are fairly ambitious and achievement-oriented, you want that next rung on the ladder. And you will also usually get it.
Once you get to a certain level of leadership, desire to reach the next step (be it MD, or partner, or director) simply because “that’s next” starts not being enough. For a variety of reasons: first, it takes a lot of work to get there. So you’d better really want it, or else it will be impossible to put in the work and still be happy. Secondly, people can see through you: they see a drifter, not someone with a vision. And they will be less likely to follow and support you.
In my coaching sessions with high potentials I often find myself asking them “Why do you want this?” If you want to make a change, understanding your deeper level motivations is key. Fulfillment is, quite simply, the alignment between values and reality: if you live your values, what is important for you, you feel fulfilled. But this means it is necessary to understand and articulate what your motivations are: the values which drive your life and give it meaning.
I am always surprised by how deeply personal core values are. I do this exercise at least 6-7 times a year with different groups of people and the diversity in their values is staggering. For some, achievement is a core value – this may translate into the work of salespeople who get a thrill when closing a deal, or consultants who admit they crave getting the best internal rating. For others, intellectual excellence is more important than external recognition. For others, having a positive impact on the world. Or connecting with people.
Once you get to a certain level of leadership, desire to reach the next step (be it MD, or partner, or director) simply because “that’s next” starts not being enough.
Whatever it is, I believe it is essential to define it for yourself because that’s what makes you authentic. That’s also what gives you conviction in your actions as a leader: you act from a place of your beliefs. And others see that. Conviction comes from knowing what you stand for, and having the courage to go for it.
How do you define your values? It starts taking a look at a list of possible values – like this one. The list is supposed to provide you with guidance and ideas, but of course you can add to it anything that speaks to you. Through process of elimination you get to your 3 to 5 core values. Find those things that truly are most important to you; those who define who you are or want to be. I like this list of questions as you distill what is most important to you:
- Am I willing to fight for it?
- Am I willing to sacrifice for it?
- Am I willing to pay for it?
- Am I willing to spend time on it?
(from here.)
After figuring out your three to five core values, I would ask you:
- On a scale from 1 to 10, how much are you currently living your values? (where 10 is total alignment between what is important to you and your current life, and 1 is the opposite)
- What will it take to increase your answer by one point?
- How does getting to that next level of leadership sync (or not sync) with living your values?
Being clear on your values helps not just with making decisions in your life—like with a compass, following your “true north”—but also with understanding your triggers: there’s nothing more irritating for a person with a core value of collaboration, than someone who likes to compete seemingly unnecessarily! It also feeds into executive presence. But more about that in a future posting.
Hope you take some time to explore your values,
